Sit, Miroku
by Kellitica Brast
Summary: Inuyasha searches for a way to rid himself of the Beads of Subjugation, and the Shikon Jewel. However, as Inuyasha solves his problems, Miroku's only get worse. Ch. 1 Rewritten! Complete!
1. the return of Sit, Miroku

A/N: All right. The return of Sit, Miroku. This is the third rewrite of this chapter, but this time, the story is at its best. Many have read this. Please, review what you can, I read all reviews within four days of you posting them. This WILL confuse you. IT WILL, you have been warned. Randomness is everywhere in this story, so good luck, have fun, and enjoy the girls…and guys.

Sit, Miroku

By Killetica Beast

Inuyasha, the half-demon we all know and love, is in trouble. It had all begun with a simple statement about Ramen Noodles. Yes, you know what I am talking about. I mean, why can't he just ask for some Ramen? WHY? I want some Ramen!!! He's a half demon of the Feudal era for goodness sake, why can't he have some good old futuristic Ramen? RAMEN!!!!

If you are still reading this fanfiction, then you have done a good job. I thought you might have run away. Don't worry, it only gets worse from this point forward.

Next introduction: Kagome, the human girl from the current time period, was the one causing the trouble. She was in her hairific state of girly weirdness. For guys…and girls, let me restate that: Kagome's hair was everywhere, her face had lost its complexion, and her eyes held an absolute fury. You all know what I am talking about. It was her Ramen…

Still here? Good.

Shippo, the fox demon, was still amazed at how tactless Inuyasha was. While Kagome was steaming and about ready to erupt, Shippo was taking all the hotdogs. He was neutral in all affairs of this type. Yet Shippo leaned slightly on the girl's side, seeing as how Inuyasha gave Shippo lots of bruises on his noggin. Yet again, I think it would be obvious. It was definitely the Ramen.

Sango, the demon slayer, was ready to destroy some humans rather than demons. She had her Eradikos, or however you spell her big boomerang, in a stance that spelled absolute eradication of the loser who confronted her first…

That person was Miroku. He held his staff loosely at his side…he didn't have a chance against a girl with THOSE eyes. He was left with no options. He could run…but that wasn't an option at all. It was a battle that he should have never begun. But Miroku couldn't help it, he had that deep inner need to do the wrong thing. It was a female world ready for his calling.

It was a two-on-two battle. Miroku, however, was lucky. HE didn't have the beads of subjugation. It was all up to Inuyasha. He was down. Out of the game. He had one disadvantage that he couldn't alter, stop, in any way decease, or avoid. It was a man vs. angry, ready to kill girl. Kagome was going to have a LOT OF FUN!!!

Are you ready?

We're getting closer

Its coming up soon.

Almost there.

Just give me time to work up to it.

Big breaths.

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Wait for it!!!!

God paused time for three seconds.

My car crashed at Lakenheath.

My physics homework is equal to pi minutes after this message.

I have to go to the bathroom.

Dododododo.

Dum du dum du dum.

Here it comes…

Kagome said,

"SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!!"

WOW!!!

THAT WAS FUN!!!

LETS DO IT AGAIN!!!

Nevermind…at this rate, the story will never get completed, and plus, I can't use the "I have to go to the bathroom" excuse…

Wow, you are still reading this? I am amazed. Well, the story is funny, but you definitely have to have the right mind to understand the randomness of it all…and would you believe my age is (Classified information). I am really old!!! Back to the story…

This time, Kagome actually ran out of breath. Heaving another breath, Kagome was about to begin when Kaede entered the scene.

"What art thou doing Kagome? The sacred beads of subjugation will not allow such complete over usage. Try to control your instinct. If you destroy them, I only have one more set, and I think Inuyasha would never forgive us for reemploying them on him.

Sango began to have ideas at that point. Walking up to Kaede, she whispered something really, really, quietly to her. Kaede thought about it. She finally nodded and withdrew the beads from her robe.

"These are the beads of subjugation. And there is one request which I have decided to fulfill"…clapping her hands together, she began to chant…and the beads split and headed towards one person…

You guessed it…Miroku. He saw the beads and attempted to stop them, but he could not overpower Kaede. The beads clasped around his neck and one word was said…

One word…

SIT!

And all the fans of Inuyasha clapped very loudly. Well, duh, NOONE respects a pervert…

…all your comments are belong to us…

End of Chapter

If you review and say that you do respect a pervert…I will forgive you, because you reviewed my story.

Killetica Beast


	2. Searching for a cure

THE RETURN OF THE MOST AWESOME INUYASHA FANFICTION

COMPLETELTY REVISED

Sit, Miroku 

Chapter 2: Searching for a cure

By Killetica Beast

Who came up with the saying 'Ladies First'? I will tell you…the LADIES maybe. In the Feudal Era, most females stay at home and tend their homes. But 500 years later, they change…Kagome brought it to the Feudal Era…I mean, they seem to think they rule the world now that Kagome is here.

Well, don't tell Kagome I said that.

After the HUGE sit attack, Inuyasha and Miroku were truly sorry. So they did what any gentleman would do…they ran away as quickly as they could. Still running, and aching in many different places (no nothing like that), they stumbled down a cliff and fell into a river, then went heading toward the inevitable waterfall.

Sango and Kagome, however, were still laughing…all anger forgotten. Which is surprising, as they usually only feel anger, love, and stupidity. jk lol.

OK, what happened to the author…he doesn't think like that. Yes, I have stolen his computer. I am currently hiding in Deutschland!!!! The COPS WILL NEVER FIND ME!!!!

Oops.

The author has been removed and the correct author will now resume the storyline.

OK, there once was a man from Nantucket…

Sorry, I couldn't resist. Back to Inuyasha.

Sango, however, had an idea. "Kagome? Does the Sit command work over long distances?"

Kagome was puzzled, "Not sure. Do you want to try?"

"It would be my pleasure!!! MIROKU!!!! SIT YOU LOSER!!!"

---------------------------

Inuyasha and Miroku finally found that waterfall. But right as they began to fall, Miroku suddenly plummeted at seven times the speed of gravity…

Inuyasha kicked off the rocks and landed safely on a tree…until he heard a noise that only his ears could pick up…It was Kagome, calling to him. So he jumped in the air…just as the words became audible to him…

"SIT BOY!!!"

Miroku and Inuyasha hit the ground at the same time. Miroku hit it about three times harder though…And then Inuyasha heard the laughter…

"Did it work?"

"Sango, I felt the Earth shake…don't worry…it worked."

Inuyasha and Miroku, getting up from their would-be-graves-if-the-laws-of-physics-existed, found Sesshomaru looking down on them. He said, "You're losing to human females."

Inuyasha looked at his brother and replied, "No, we're losing to demons with ten times the power of the Shikon Jewel."

"Then have THEM fight Naraku."

"You hurt your what?!!!!"

End of Chapter

Killetica Beast


	3. Sesshomaru and his Imp

THE RETURN OF THE MOST AWESOME INUYASHA FANFICTION

COMPLETELTY REVISED

Sit, Miroku

Chapter 3: Sesshomaru and his imp

By Killetica Beast

FLASHBACK:

Miroku and Inuyasha hit the ground at the same time. Miroku hit it about three times harder though…And then Inuyasha heard the laughter…

"Did it work?"

"Sango, I felt the Earth shake…don't worry…it worked."

Inuyasha and Miroku, getting up from their would-be-graves-if-the-laws-of-physics-existed, found Sesshomaru looking down on them. He said, "You're losing to human females."

Inuyasha looked at his brother and replied, "No, we're losing to demons with ten times the power of the Shikon Jewel."

"Then have THEM fight Naraku."

"You hurt your what?!!!!"

END OF FLASHBACK

Inuyasha quickly jumped to his feet and asked his brother, "why me?"

"Half-demons have horrible luck…remember."

"That's your opinion."

"No, that would be a curse…"

"A curse?"

"Almost similar to the one that you're wearing."

"These?" Inuyasha asked as he pointed to the beads of subjugation.

"Yes."

"Who cast this spell?"

"A woman, who else?"

Miroku jumped in at that point, "who specifically cast this curse?"

Sesshomaru, "…I don't know her name, as I care nothing for humans, but it's the one who made the Shikon Jewel…"

"The shikonotami is winning."

"you did what in your cup?"

"NO, one of the four souls is winning. The shikon jewel might just break on its own."

"You know this?"

"Well, we have a problem."

Inuyasha, "What?"

Miroku, "The girls are back."

Inuyasha, "How many?"

Miroku, "Four."

Inuyasha, "How many men?"

Miroku, "It's me and you, Sesshomaru left. Actually, I'm gone, you're on your own Mr. Anderson…"

Inuyasha, "I don't get it."

Miroku, "Ask Kagome when she gets here."

Kagome, Kaede, Sango, and another girl walked up to Inuyasha.

Inuyasha, "Kagome, who is Mr. Anderson?"

Kagome, "I'm not American."

The other girl answered, "Well, I am. Its from a play back home. Its supposed to be a fighting movie."

Kagome, "Guns?"

"Well, it's a lot of fighting."

Inuyasha, "So if I said, 'shut up Mr. Anderson' what would you say?"

He asked for it.

SIT!!!!

Inuyasha fell instantly…then Sesshomaru returned.

"Tell me, are you Lucy?"

The other girl replied, "Yes, I am…but how could you know?"

"I am here to kill you."

"I warn you, I have AIDS."

"What's that?"

"Umm…well…it's a demon plague that makes it so half demons can't exist."

Inuyasha jumped up and said, "I knew it!!! Americans not only gave us George Bush, they gave us AIDS as well!!!"

SIT BOY!!!

Inuyasha didn't fall down this time…

Kagome said, "Um, Sango that only works on Miroku…"

Sango, "Oh."

Meanwhile, Miroku was running away. He flung himself through the trees, only to find that he was on a plateau…

Just as Sango said the word…

The dreaded word…

And he didn't fall off the cliff…he plunged into the void…

He would never run away from a girl again.

End of Chapter

Killetica Beast


	4. Lucy vs Sesshomaru

THE RETURN OF THE MOST AWESOME INUYASHA FANFICTION

COMPLETELTY REVISED

Sit, Miroku

Chapter 3: Sesshomaru and his imp

By Killetica Beast

"He would never run away from a girl again…"

Miroku hit the water and basically caused the river to empty via the air. Using his staff he stood up and looked around. Besides the mountain at his back, there was nothing taller than him. Not plains, but a wide expanse of small bushes and other nature like things. Feeling afraid of when the next sit would come, he rushed through the area. Looking at this, looking at that. He knew that the Shikon Jewel was in trouble, but would it help, hurt, or would it just cease to exist…

Then he felt a great wind. A tornado…a demon-made tornado. Miroku flew almost faster than Inuyasha did, using his strength and staff to increase his speed. Seeing the center of the tornado, he stopped…

It was Lucy and Sesshomaru, fighting it out.

Miroku threw his staff at Lucy, and it was caught up in the wind, but it ruined Sesshomaru's chances of winning. It whirled around the tornado, struck him in the head, and it bounced and hit Miroku in the stomach.

Both men collapsed instantly.

Lucy floated to the ground and walked to Sesshomaru. She reached out and turned him into stone, or rather, his insides to stone…

"He should have servants…"

Then she saw Rin and Jaken staying behind a rock.

"Ah, I see."

Lucy took the Tenseiga from Sesshomaru's hands and went to Rin. Lucy handed her the sword and said, "It will protect you."

"Th-thanks," Rin replied.

And then Inuyasha returned.

"What's going on?"

Lucy looked at Inuyasha and said, "I am choosing a champion."

"A champion?"

"Sesshomaru wasn't good enough."

"Huh."

"Let me put it this way, a demon has power over the Shikon Jewel…"

"Naraku."

"Yes."

"And…"

"I'm here to help. If you win the tournament, you get one wish."

"Then I know what I want."

"Yes, you want to be rid of those beads."

"…No…"

"Oh, so you aren't afraid of girls."

"No, I am not."

"Interesting…Tell me, is it possible to attune yourself to another's spiritual powers…"

"Huh?"

"So, you ARE a loser."

"What are you talking about?"

"I think I can make you sit."

"Say it all you want!!!"

"You will regret saying that…I am much stronger than Kagome."

"All women are the same…"

She took a DEEP breath and said…

"SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! SIT!! "

Inuyasha, however, felt nothing. He said, "Hah, didn't work…"

"I don't get it, it should have worked…"

"Oh, it did."

"Huh?"

"So, you are a loser."

"Don't quote me."

"Poor Miroku."

"huh."

Miroku had flown 500 meters into the Earth. He felt every single sit…

Miroku, "Forget bearing my children, could you just stop saying sit?"

"Bearing your children? Hah, that's something only a loser would say. Congratulations, here I go."

Inuyasha had no time to defend as Lucy attacked him…

Lucy yelled, "YOU AREN't GOOD ENOUGH!!!"

Kagome showed up. From atop the mountain she yelled, "I AM!!! Inuyasha, SIT BOY!!!"

Inuyasha's sit completely dodged the attack, and Lucy replied

"Then win it all. Defeat your opponent. We'll see how you guys fare against us…and my boyfriend!"

She disappeared without another word. Never to be seen in Japan again.

End of Chapter

Killetica Beast


	5. Sesshomaru's Tale

THE RETURN OF THE MOST AWESOME INUYASHA FANFICTION

COMPLETELTY REVISED

Sit, Miroku

Chapter 5: Sesshomaru's Tale

By Killetica Beast

Miroku was definitely having a bad day. Having been told to sit several (thousand) times, he was eager to find the truth. How do I get rid of these beads?

How?

Shouldn't the beads have broken by now? They had been overused. Then a thought came to him…

What if I use my wind tunnel?

Would it work?

Holding his beads with one hand, and holding his other hand at them, he slightly released the prayer beads and the subjugation beads began to fly into the hole…

He had made one mistake however.

Every fifth bead has a tooth-like point, and they began to puncture his hole, but they would not come off his neck…

And the string broke.

It flew into the hole and something amazing happened…

He was free from the curse!!!!

Inuyasha decided to enter the scene at that exact time and it made Miroku decide to gloat…

"Haha. The beads aren't on me anymore…"

"Amazing," Inuyasha grumbled, "How did you do it?"

"I used the wind tunnel."

"Can you do it for me?"

"I can try."

Putting his hand forward, he attempted to open the tunnel again…

But there was no tunnel.

Miroku had destroyed the tunnel with the beads.

"What!!!!!"

The scream was heard throughout the wood. Immediately Kagome and Sango ran up to them and said, "What's wrong?" in unison.

"my wind tunnel and the beads are gone!!!"

"WHAT? I can't tell you to sit anymore?"

BAM!!!!!

…

"You're lying Miroku, the beads are still there."

"Please tell me you didn't use the sacred beads against the curse Naraku set against you?"

Kaede had entered the scene…

"Well…"

Kaede, "I have one thing to tell you Miroku, you're never going to have the wind tunnel again."

"REALLY?"

"You want to hear the bad news?"

Inuyasha, "I know, the monkeys are going to take over the world?"

Kagome, "Math nerds are going to destroy the world?"

Sango, "Perverts will take over the world?"

Miroku, "The author will take over the world?"

Kaede, "Worse than all that!"

"WHAT?" they exclaimed in unison…

"You're screwed for life... The beads will never leave you."

"But I believe we can get rid of Inuyasha's beads."

"You tell them lord Sesshomaru."

"Yes, my lord."

"Rin, Jaken and I can get rid of Inuyasha's beads…for a price."

"What?"

"Kagome, never let another American come to Japan through your era."

"Why?"

"She hurt my spleen."

End of Chapter

Killetica Beast


	6. The chapter before last chapter

THE RETURN OF THE MOST AWESOME INUYASHA FANFICTION

SIT MIROKU: THE TRUTH ABOUT INUYASHA

Chapter 6: The chapter before the chapter before the chapter before the last chapter.

Sesshomaru, "Inuyasha, we need to talk alone."

Miroku sat there looking cute…I mean, he was in pain and about ready to die. He nearly fell down…nearly. He stared at Sango, then at Kagome, and finally at Kaede. He said, "The women have fun with me…I need to find a way to change myself to be a…a…"

Miroku couldn't say it. Sango asked, "A what? Miroku…"

"A…a…"

Kagome, "SPIT IT OUT MIROKU, or I will sic Sango on you."

"A gentleman…(huuu)…a non-pervert. I need to be…normal…"

And thus Miroku fainted, leaving the two girls shocked. However, they realized Sesshomaru and Inuyasha had left…

Sesshomaru, "Jaken explained it this way. There is a four-way curse on the beads…just like the sacred jewel. You need to complete all four to release the curse. And they must all be completed within twenty-four hours of the first counter-curse. The first counter curse is to…kiss the one who wields you."

"Kagome?"

"Yes. The second is to have an opposite command be said."

"Like stand?"

"Well, something a bit stronger than that. The third is that you must change yourself to be different so that the reason the beads were put on is gone. In your case, you have already completed that task. You are no longer the mostly-demon that I know you to be…"

"What is the fourth?"

"Give up your heart's desire."

"WHAT!!!"

But he was gone…gone…gone…and then he felt something on his head…

It was Sesshomaru's Tenseiga.

"OWWWW!!!!"

"Haha, little brother. Take that!!! That…didn't hurt…because it's the…Tensei…ga…"

"Haha, back Sesshomaru. Holler back boy!!"

"Why?"

But Miroku had returned to the scene.

"I have found the truth!!!! The sacred jewel is going to explode!!!"

"What?"

Miroku, "The jewel is getting stronger in one segment, thus destroying the soul. Since Naraku holds all the shards, he will be defeated too…"

_Inuyasha, you must rid yourself of your heart's desire._

_Your heart's desire…_

_Your hea…_

"SHUT UP YOU STUPID ITALICIZED TEXT!!!"

_Shut up you quoted text_

"STOP IT!"

_STOP IT_

"_STOP IT"_

"_Hey, this is cool. I choose you, PIKACHU"_

"_WEEEEEE"_

End of Chapter

Killetica Beast


	7. the chapter after chapter 6

THE RETURN OF THE MOST AWESOME INUYASHA FANFICTION

SIT MIROKU: THE TRUTH ABOUT INUYASHA

Chapter 6: The Chapter after The chapter before the chapter before the chapter before the last chapter. (maybe the chapter after that?)

"_I wanna be the very best, that no one ever was."_

"_To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause."_

"_I thought I liked them because of my tunnel, but the truth was…"_

"_I like women, yes I do, I hope Sango doesn't hear this…"_

"_Pokewomen, gotta catch em all"_

"MIROKU!!! What are you singing?"

"Um…a Pokemon theme song?"

"What was that last line?"

"Um…Pokemon, gotta catch em all?"

"hmm…"

"Do you want to hear me sing another song?"

"Sure…I guess…"

"_Chickety China the Chinese Chicken,_

_Grab a Drumstick and your brain stops tickin_

_Watching X Files with no lights on, we're da la maison_

_I hope the smoking mans in this one_

_Like Harrison Ford I am getting frantic, like Sting I'm tantric_

_Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy_

_Like Kurassawa, I make mad films,_

_K I don't make films, But if I did they'd have a samurai_

_Gottagetabettersetofclubs, youknowthekindwithtinynubs_

_Cause my irons are always flying off the back swing_

_Gottaget in tune with Sailor moon cause that cartoon has got the BOOM anime BABES…"_

"SIT pervert!!!"

"What did I do?"

"Does EVERY SONG YOU SING HAVE WOMENISH SLANDER IN IT?!!!"

"Yes, and if it doesn't, I change the lyrics so that it does!!! WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

…

…

…

complete silence…

…

…

…

…

"ooooookay, that is really…weird…"

"YOU AREN"T GOING TO SAY SIT?"

"Oh, almost forgot, SIT!!!"

---------------------------------

Kagome, "Don't they make a cute twosome?"

Inuyasha, "I wish I could do that…"

Kags, "Do…what, Inuyasha?" In her eyes, there was a BIG warning for any men watching…

"Ummm…" He couldn't win a staring contest with THAT kind of look…

"Inuyasha?"

"Yes?"

"What is Kaede doing?"

"Huh?"

And sure enough, Kaede was walking towards them…

"You must go Inuyasha…to the place where the jewel originated…"

"My, what big eyes you have grandma"

"All the better to see you with…I mean, sorry, you, Kagome, and Miroku must travel to defeat Naraku…and a couple of foes…"

"My, what big ears you have grandma"

"All the better to hear you with…I mean, its serious, you MUST go now."

"My what big teeth you have grandma"

"All the better to eat you with…I mean, WOULD YOU STOP THAT!!! I am currently being possessed and I have some information for you!!! Would you listen?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Travel to that one place…Hey Kagome, do you think the beads will make me jump?"

"Let me try…JUMP INUYASHA!!!"

"YES!!! You fell for it. Step two of my four way counter curse is complete. Now for step three!!!"

Kaede, "Fine, I won't be possessed anymore…"

Inuiyasha, however, wasn't listening. He grabbed Kagome, held her, and did the one thing she didn't expect…

He kissed her.

She swooned on the spot. Inuyasha, however, was gone. Just like a man to kiss a girl then run…

Kaede, "You look happy Kagome."

"Oh what a big nose you have grandma"

"All the better to smell you with…WOULD YOU TWO STOP THAT!!! Oh, forget it Kagome, you're almost drunk because of Inuyasha kissing you."

"Oh what big lips you have Inuyasha!"

"he would rather swallow you whole."

--------------------------------

"_Pokewomen, gotta kiss em all, pokewomen!"_

End of Chapter

Killetica Beast


	8. Naraku, Inuyasha, Miroku MEN

THE RETURN OF THE MOST AWESOME INUYASHA FANFICTION

SIT MIROKU: THE TRUTH ABOUT INUYASHA

Chapter 8: NARAKU, INUYASHA, MIROKU…MEN!!!!

_1915…1915…_

_huuuu, "SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!! SIT!!!"_

_2000…2000…2000 times that word has been said in this fanfiction…_

_The story will now commence…_

Inuyasha, Kagome, and Miroku finally found the meeting place

And this was an interesting scene:

There were four squares, and three were occupied. Each square was just a glowing outline of a square on the ground:

In square one stood Naraku and his two remaining reincarnations.

In square two stood Kikyo and her demon collectors.

In square three stood someone Inuyasha didn't know, but you could tell where he came from. Remember what Lucy said?

"_Let's see if you can handle my BOYFRIEND?"_

Yes, it was Leer Rosh, in the flesh. He is the renowned swordsman who has mastered ALL seven energies.

And in the center of the four squares stood the Shikon Jewel. When Inuyasha, Kagome, and Miroku stood in their square, the jewel fragments from Kagome flew to it…

And the jewel was complete.

It rose…

Right as Naraku threw his tentacle thing at Inuyasha. Inuyasha quickly blocked the tentacle; well…he cut it in half…

Leer Rosh spoke to Kikyo and Kagome… "Listen, we must work together to defeat Naraku…"

Kikyo, "I don't care what some kid says, I want that jewel…"

Leer, "Then trust me, you might want to make a reservation…"

Kagome, "What do you mean?"

"Lucy was here, wasn't she? Well, she told me who she wanted to be the champion of this world…and it was you Kagome…"

"What?"

"Prove yourself Kagome. Help me defeat Naraku…"

As she began to believe him, the jewel became like an egg shape. It was slowly becoming a cylinder…

"What about the jewel?"

"It is doing exactly what I want it to do. Now, begin the battle. This is a four way battle. Choose your allies carefully. THIS IS NOT A GAME!!!"

"This is just a fanfiction…"

"But it means one thing…hilarity means death…"

"What about my wind tunnel…"

"Miroku, you can use a different kind of tunnel. You will see what I mean…"

"Will the bee things be able to get me?"

"Ummmmmmmmm… no"

"Are you sure?"

"Would you like me to say I am surely sure?"

"Ummmmmmmmm… no"

"Then lets take out these enemies…NARAKU IS YOURS INUYASHA, I'll hold off Kikyo…"

"Can't I hold off Kikyo, I love women…"

"Miroku, why don't you become a man…you will get your wish, but you need to mature yourself…"

"can I fight Kikyo?"

"Why?"

"I love women…"

End of Chapter

Killetica Beast


	9. Lucy's Boyfriend

THE RETURN OF THE MOST AWESOME INUYASHA FANFICTION

SIT MIROKU: THE TRUTH ABOUT INUYASHA

Chapter 9: Lucy's Boyfriend

Leer, "Miroku, listen to me. They need your help with Naraku. Kikyo has unknown ambitions and needs to be dealt with. You may fight Kikyo in the Tournament…"

Miroku, "Tournament?"

Leer, "Never mind. Just help take care of Naraku."

Miroku, "I understand. Tell me, what is the jewel doing?"

Leer, "The fours souls are fighting. If one is ahead of the others, it stretches. When we defeat Naraku, the jewel may explode…"

Miroku, "What about Inuyasha's wish?"

Leer, "He may still get it, but not here, not now. Now go. Defeat Naraku."

Kikyo, "So, you think you can defeat me?"

Leer, "…You're defeat is your own, as is your destiny. So tell me: CAN YOU DEFEAT ME!!!!!"

Kikyo, "I will."

Leer, "Yes, but can you defeat me…"

Kikyo, "I don't get it."

Leer, "I noticed that. You are dead. So let me send you…home. I am giving you a warning. I am going to attack in 5 seconds…5…4…3…2…1…Quick Strike!!!"

Kikyo, "Oh, $&!"

Leer rushed so quickly, his attack made contact before the sound of the word "Quick" reached Kikyo's ears. His sword flashed in nine attacks, each hitting with a striking force of several tons of Force. Well, force is measured in Newtons, so it would be around 3x10200 Newtons of Force…

Anyway, the pure force from his first attack sent Kikyo flying towards the nearest tree…and falling down on her. She somehow recovered, with some sort of curse on her…

Kikyo, "That hurt, lol."

Leer, "rofl, that there was funny."

Kikyo, "Imho, u r 2 fast."

Leer, "Imnsho, u r 2 slow…get rdy 2 b pwnd!"

Kikyo, "U cn't pwn me, I m 2 kool."

Leer, "/emote is strong"

Kikyo, "/emote likes chicken"

Leer, "I loked 4 my dressbook."

Kikyo, "typo?"

Leer, "lol."

Kikyo, "/fight"

Leer, "/f remove Kikyo.

/fight"

Kikyo, "Sacred Arrow!!!"

Leer, "A sacred arrow, hurtling at my chest!!! Tries to get me but I do this!!!"

He quickly twirled his sword in front of himself. The sword sent all arrows flying in many directions. Then it got dangerous…

---------------------------------------------------------

Inuyasha, "Where is that Monk when you need him?"

He quickly blocked another strike of Naraku's tentacles.

Kagome, "Probably trying to fight Kikyo…"

She unleashed an arrow at Naraku, but Kagura used the wind to send it off course.

Inuyasha, "…try to aim fully at Kagura…"

Kagome, "huh."

Inuyasha, "HIT KAGURA!!!"

Kagome, "Well, I'd rather hit on you…but…here goes!"

The arrow went towards Kagura, but she threw the wind to the side. However, it did exactly what Inuyasha was aiming for…it screwed up her wind…

Inuyasha, "WIND SCAR!!!"

It hit Kagura full on, just as Miroku showed up.

Miroku, "You already killed her…that was another woman I wanted to fight."

Inuyasha, "Yes, but now it's three versus two."

Miroku, "How many times did you count Kagome?"

Inuyasha, "Twice…"

End of Chapter

Killetica Beast


	10. The Jewel

THE RETURN OF THE MOST AWESOME INUYASHA FANFICTION

SIT MIROKU: THE TRUTH ABOUT INUYASHA

Chapter 10: The Jewel

"Naraku, thanks for all the hard times you've put us through."

It went on…

And on…

"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

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"Are you ready Naraku?"

"Are you ready Inuyasha?"

**PLEASE CUT IT OUT!!!!**

**I can't write my story effectively with you two doing that!!!**

Inuyasha, "There is a God!!!"

Naraku, "You started it."

**STOP, can you please just fight, get bloody, someone wins, whoohoo, and etcetera?**

Inuyasha, "Who are you?"

Naraku, "What the half demon said!"

**I am Killetica Beast. DON'T MAKE ME GO EMO ON YOU!!!**

Leer, "So, its you…"

Inuyasha, Naraku, Kagome, Kikyo, and Miroku, "YOU KNOW HIM?"

Leer, "Hes my overpower. If I'm about to lose…he lets me win…"

"CHEATER!!!!"

Leer, "No, as in, he gives me extra power. He is, in essence a part of me…"

**Hmmm…kind of. However, you are still a bit weak to understand Leir.**

"Its speller LEER!!!"

**Um, I was talking, so how could you know I misspelled your name?**

"I dunno, you made me say that…"

**Just get back to fighting.**

"Yes sir."

**And you might want to take a look at the Jewel.**

"HUH?"

And the jewel, which was recently turning into an orb, was now a two dimensional figure…

And it exploded.

Miroku SCREAMED at the top of his lungs. He cried, "NOOOOOOO, MY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN!!!!"

He wasn't ready for the reaction to that one…

Inuyasha, "Sit, Miroku."

Kagome, "Sit, Miroku."

Kikyo, "Sit, Miroku."

Naraku, "Sit, Miroku."

Kanna, "Sit, Miroku."

Leer, "Sit, Miroku."

Miroku, "Sit, myself."

**Sit, Miroku**

End of Chapter

Killetica Beast


	11. Wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I

A/N: Wow, I am actually writing an author's note. Amazing. OK. Now the funny story is going quite a bit in the awkward direction. So, I am planning on rewriting the chapters. I have them saved, and I plan to make them longer, better, and a little more on the…descriptive side. So, therefore, this will be the longest chapter you have had. (No, sits DON't count) However, my writing will definitely be slowing down, but you will get a great story out of it. If you want me to make any explanations, review this story and tell me. If there are any hints as to the rewrite, those are welcome as well. I am planning on doing some reading of my own, as I haven't really read any fanfics in a while. So tell your friends about this story…after I rewrite it. AND, I hope you enjoy the chapter. This story is now taking a new direction…

Sit, Miroku

Chapter 11: Wonk uoy naht noittceffa erom deen I

The shattered jewel caused the scene to go utterly black. The world was utterly black. The moon was utterly black. The sun…was hiding. Naraku stand there, aghast at the jewel's sudden destruction. Inuyasha stared with a blank eyesore that made you want to puke. Leer's reaction, however, was the weirdest of them all…

He literally threw his black jacket that he always wore into the dirt. It was, in essence, his uniform for fighting. It symbolized quite a bit to him. He drew his sword, jumped high into the air, and screamed. His screech caused even Inuyasha to come out of his phase and wonder what he was doing.

Leer was glad. He put his sword directly into the air and spoke the words that many others had been trying to avoid. He spoke what the entire world had tried to hide:

"We are useless. We are useless. This world has been connected. This world has been connected. I am not a hooded guy. I am not a hooded guy. What is the point? What is the point? My typewriter is broken. My typewriter is broken. Shut up. Shut up. Echo. Echo. George W. Bush is a great President!!!"

**Bologna.**

Miroku walked forth and said, "I guess no one gets their heart's desire. Did any of you get yours?"

Inuyasha, "…I must give up my heart's desire…"

Kagome, "I, really don't know…"

Sango, "me…too. I am not sure what my heart's desire is…"

Inuyasha, "I…know my heart's desire."

Miroku, "What is yours?"

Inuyasha, "My heart's desire, wasn't my desire at all…"

Miroku, "I'm lost."

Leer, "…you guys don't realize the situation, do you?"

"WHAT?" They replied in unison.

"The Jewel didn't explode, it just picked a side."

"Which side did it pick?" Inuyasha asked.

Leer, "It chose…you Inuyasha."

"WHAT?"

Leer, "You have about fifteen minutes to decide your heart's desire Inuyasha. It chose to grant your wish. The Jewel put it's fate in your hands, as well as your fate."

"You didn't forget about me, did you?" a voice said.

It was Naraku. He was in a bad shape. Naraku was currently vexed out. By that I mean he was definitely a super warrior. He looked almost like Goku, only he wasn't floating, he wasn't wearing big muscles, and he was a bug. A BIG bug. Kanna lay behind him, drained of her power, all thrown into Naraku. Kagura's aura was gone as well. Kikyo was still beneath the tree, but she was gone too. Naraku not only drained her remaining power, but she had not had any souls in quite a while, thus losing contact with the real world.

Leer, "You are not who you should be?"

Naraku, "I am a God."

Leer, "You don't even qualify as a demigod. You are a human, who allowed himself to be fiendishized, demonized, and completely without a wife."

Naraku, "Your words mean nothing to me."

Leer, "And that is why you are going to lose."

Naraku, "Are you challenging me?"

Leer, "I am not allowed to. You are in no way connected to Judor, and I can't interfere without Judor interfering. But, I was talking about Inuyasha and his team. They will annihilate you. INUYASHA, DON'T FORGET TO MAKE THAT CHOICE. You are down to ten minutes of time to choose."

Inuyasha, "What if it took the reader two minutes to read that, instead of five?"

Leer, "Well, we are assuming the reader is an exceptionally bad reader, and he/she can't read fast, so we made it fair and said five minutes."

Inuyasha, "Did that take another five minutes?"

Leer, "…Yes."

Inuyasha, "OMG, here comes Naraku!!!"

Naraku thrust his tentacles into the ground, forcing them to come up right next to Kagome. Inuyasha, sensing the attack almost instantly, yelled and screamed, ate a hotdog, and threw himself at Kagome. She was knocked backwards, while the tentacles went right into Inuyasha…right where they always seem to hit him.

And Naraku hadn't even been attacked yet.

Inuyasha, realizing this fact, drew his Tetsusaiga, and he said, "I have made my choice. I know my heart's desire."

Naraku, "What is it?"

Leer, "Have you made the right choice?"

Inuyasha, "My real heart's desire is different from what I want. However, I can do this. I do not want to cheat and have my heart's desire granted. I would rather work for it. I want to earn my heart's desire. So, I will instead ask for…another thing."

Leer, "What is your choice?"

Naraku, "What is it?"

Kagome, "Inuyasha…"

Inuyasha, "I want to be…a full-fledged…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

human."

End of Chapter 11: Wonk uoy naht noittceffa erom deen I

A/N: Another author's note? WOW. That wasn't as long as I thought. But it is awesome. Well, we'll see how it goes. Review please, I'm at 1500 hits, so there is some holding back…


	12. COMPLETE RANDOMNESS

A/N: Yay, chapter 12 is up. The chapters are coming to a close. But…I'm not sure where I want to end this fanfiction. So, I will write until I'm sure I want to stop. Thanks for reading!!!

Sit, Miroku

Chapter 12: COMPLETE RANDOMNESS

Inuyasha had done it. He was in full black hair, and his claws had ran away from home. His automatic healing had gotten a driver's license and had driven a '95 camaro to Koga's den. His "Blades of Blood" had gotten a hotdog. His "Iron Reaver Soul Stealer" was currently playing on with the gamertag "LeerRosh." His ears had been shot by Osama Bin Laden because they had been playing on XBOX360, stupid demon ears.

However, this new human was man's only hope to defeat Naraku. Only Miroku, Inuyasha, and Kagome could defeat him, and they could only receive minimal outside help. Naraku was in his strongest stage yet. Kagome was a girl. Miroku didn't have a wind tunnel. Chickens can't fly.

The Tetsusaiga was useless. It could only block some attacks. It could cut paper, yet Inuyasha wielded it as though it might be able to send Naraku to Burger King. Miroku's staff could only create small barriers. Kagome could shoot arrows. Spirit arrows. Sacred Arrows. That was all they had to combat Naraku. Allyourbasearebelongtous. Or, so they thought.

Kagome had a weapon. A hidden weapon. Something that was illegal for her to have, at least, back in her own time, it was illegal. Now, however, no one knew what she had. Except for Leer.

Inuyasha, "Naraku. You will die, die. Today, today."

Naraku, "Your chicken sword will do nothing…"

Kagome, "But I can defeat you Naraku!!!"

Naraku, "With what? A Barbie?"

Kagome, "Americans like to call it a Thompson…"

Naraku, "A guy? Did he have green hair and yellow eyes?"

Kagome, "ummmm…no"

Naraku, "Phew, I thought you might have one of those politicians from America…they lie…"

Kagome, "…well…actually, its not a person."

Naraku, "What is it?"

**Please pause while I check my watch.**

Kagome, "It's an American gun."

Naraku, "You did WHAT with a pencil?"

Kagome, "…"

She pulled out her Thompson. The Thompson is an American WWII machine gun. Using her leverage, she pulled the trigger and shot off maybe fifty bullets. She shot like James Bond…no, not that actor, I'm talking Daniel Craig. 3 bullets nailed Naraku in the stomach. One in each of his ankles, and 3pie divided by four bullets struck Naraku in his ear. So she hit him with somewhere around 7.345 bullets landed.

Naraku, "SHOOT THE MONKEY!!! What was that?"

Kagome gasped (say that five times fast. If you have a lisp, say "gasp" five more times in front of a bunch of people so they can laugh at you.)

Inuyasha, "OMG! WTF!! My demon ears got shot for playing the XBOX360, so it didn't kill my ears, but that was loud."

Miroku, "Wow. Women are dangerous. I think I'll stay away from Kagome from now on. Theysetusupthebomb."

Kagome, "INUYASHA, sit boy!!!"

Inuyasha, "When I became a human, that curse was destroyed. I need to find my jfebg."

Miroku, "Let's use my barrier. Rush him. And Kagome…please protects us. We're going in."

Iron Reaver Soul Stealer just lost a Starcraft game to player "Itghst."

The attack was completely improvised. Synonyms make the words sound weird. Miroku's staff drew a barrier around him and Inuyasha. Synonyms change the sentences meaning. Miroku's staff represented a stumbling block in the region of him and Inuyasha. Naraku attempted to counter them with a tentacle attack…

Kagome's arrow collided with the tentacle, leaving Miroku and Inuyasha untouched.

And then, they attacked. Miroku, with his barrier, bounced off Naraku and sent him flying high into the air, directly above Naraku. Inuyasha, using his sheath and sword, attacked Naraku with his weak weapons. Inuyasha struck with suck ferocity, that Naraku's magic barrier sent Inuyasha flying back into Kagome, sending them both twelve feet back. Then, an amazing thing happened.

Sango appeared.

No one was sure what to do next. Their impromptu attack had failed.

Sango knew what to do.

Leer, while watching the commotion, had only one word to say. One word…

"Lucy…"

Sango did the one thing she could. She did the best thing she could in a situation with little chance to win…

She blamed it on the men, screamed her head off, and then did something about it…kind of.

"MIROKU!!! SIT BOY!!!"

And Miroku, about two miles in the air came tumbling down. 2 miles equals 10560 feet. His acceleration downwards was 32 feet per second squared. His initial velocity was zero. What was his final velocity when he struck Naraku?

(Final Velocity) squared equals (Initial Velocity) squared plus (2)(acceleration)(distance)

The answer is:

Vf2 0 – (2)(-32)(10560)

Vf2 675840

Vf 822.1 feet per second

And what if Naraku's magic could only resist an attack that moved at 600 feet per second. Would Naraku's demon body be able to survive an attack of that speed?

It's your call.

Because whether or not he survived in this world doesn't matter.

Yet he would never be bothered by people in this world for the rest of their lives…

Thank god for perverts!!!

Leer, "Naraku may be dead, but we have a couple of things left to do."

Kagome, "Like what?"

Leer, "We need to worry about Judor."

A flash of light.

A big bang.

An earthquake.

A helicopter.

A skydiver.

A piece of salami.

A chicken with a turkey in its mouth.

My computer says the last 7 lines are fragments.

Miroku saved the day, but that's about it.

Judor, "You called?"

End the chapter

A/N: What do you think? My computer says there are 65 spelling errors. It also says there are 9 grammar errors.

LOL.

Killetica Beast


	13. Power of a Human with NOTHING to lose

The last chapter of Sit, Miroku.

The final phase in a story without meaning.

The final battle where no one wants to give up.

The battle that can only lead to another battle.

The final battle in a world where time has no definite point of movement.

Inuyasha's feudal era and Kagome's modern Tokyo cause this world to be one of indefinite force.

A final battle: between evil and good. A final battle: where a girl can make a difference.

The final Installment of Sit, Miroku.

Sit, Miroku

Chapter 13: **The Power** of a **Human** with **NOTHING** to lose

Judor was a man: hadn't shaved in a while, hair has a cow lick, calluses on his hands, face had a smile that showed no mercy, and his clothes gave the impression of a drunk. Yet he chose what he looked like. Judor wielded a sword in his left hand, and the sword reflected the state of his brain. His sword was, in essence, a two-handed Claymore. Yet Judor could wield with his left hand, no problem whatsoever. His body resembled that of a body-builder, all muscle, no brain. His Claymore threatened in a way no human could threaten. It plays tricks on the mind…and on the soul, but it had no influence on the heart. Which is why it was perfect for Judor, his heart was merely a tool to transport blood throughout his body. Judor wasn't a man, he was something made to ruin man.

His three opponents were fully loaded and ready to strike.

First is Inuyasha, the half-demon gone human. His sword was seemingly useless, but he could fight. His body was of a mere mortal, but his mind fully understood the power of demon energy and what it could do. His fang was still sheathed, but his drive to succeed fully overpowered any need for his sword.

Second is Kagome, your ordinary ninth grade girl. In Japan, they consider her a third grader in middle school. She was obviously not ordinary, as she had put up with Inuyasha's many flaws for quite a while. She was failing in school, and her friends believed she got a weird sickness every week. However, she had improved her bowman skills. She also, without her realizing it, had a vast knowledge of spiritual and magic energy. She also had a K-mech skill of blue fire. She is definitely not your average ninth grader. Don't ask her out, you will get annihilated by Inuyasha, I swear; she can't use her sit command anymore.

The last member of their party was indeed Miroku. He had defeated Naraku by falling on top of him. His staff held the powers of chi inside; however, they could only be used as a defense. With a supreme rage of women, he had finally learned something useful. He was not a crazy machine. He was able to live his life without a wind tunnel…which would have been nice to use in this battle.

So there you have it. Three humans that used to have powers that MIGHT have been able to take on Judor, but now they don't stand a chance. But what powers can they unlock? What powers can they use that may have been useless before? What will happen next?

Judor attacked.

However, he underestimated them.

Flying around as if he had been genetically altered, he moved quickly to annihilate them all. He was moving to play with them…create illusions in their minds, send fake attacks their way, throw anything t them just to see their reaction, their pain, their wants not being fulfilled…Judor wanted to see the three humans in despair. He wanted them to submit and give up.

But Judor had thought too far in advance. He had not expected them to see him. He had not expected an arrow pulsing with spiritual and K-mech energy to come flying at him at super amazing awesome speed. He had not wanted to see the amazing expressions on their faces.

It was one, no, three faces of no regrets, no forgiveness, no…mercy. Judor landed at the spot where he had started. He pulled his sword up quickly and taunted, "You missed."

Kagome replied with coolness they don't give her on the show. She responded with a voice well above her years, with words that pierced Judor's ego: "I didn't shoot anything."

Judor, all credit to him, never wavered, "Inuyasha, what kind of broken sword is that?"

Inuyasha replied with his usual bragging voice, this time with a sting of force, "It's a Fang."

Judor, "Let me see it…"

Inuyasha, without a word, drew the sword. It was still the dead sword that it was, but no one expected what Inuyasha would do next…

"WIND SCAR!!!!"

The yellow wave rippled towards Judor. Judor held up his blade, pointing forward, and screamed, "Judor Wave!!!!"

Singe.

Inuyasha's yellow wave of death and Judor's mountainous black wave of death were about to collide. However, Kagome's sacred arrow was shot with perfect timing. It cut through Judor's wave with great speed. Miroku, taking the time to attack Judor and close him off, actually managed to avoid the conflict completely.

Judor, cornered into a wall, whipped his sword back and yelled, "Thousand Knives!!!!"

Knives flew from his sword and headed towards his enemies. All attacks were completely cancelled out. Miroku put up a barrier, and Inuyasha's sheath actually created its own barrier to protect the humans.

What they didn't realize is that the knives were alive. Right as Miroku dropped his barrier, a knife flew at his stomach, catching him in the belly. Another knife flew right at Kagome. Inuyasha covered her body with his, and he took several knives in the back.

Kagome was alone.

Judor said, "You have lost."

Kagome, "Are…you human?"

Judor replied, "No, I am not."

Kagome, "I haven't lost."

Judor, "Huh?"

Kagome, "I have not lost. My friends aren't dead. I'm not going to give in. Neither of them would give in if I went down, and I'm not going to give up because they have taken pain. I am not going to stop fighting. I won't give in.** I JUST WON'T**!!!!!"

Those last words were said with such ferocity that Judor himself was moved backwards several feet by the wind that her voice had made.

Judor, "Give up."

Kagome, "NO."

No.

The word.

The fight wasn't over.

Because Kagome said so.

Leer appeared. He came up to Judor and said, "Who are you? Who are you?"

Judor replied, "I am the master of darkness. I am the true Beast. I am not the monster, but the Beast. You turned my evil sword into your good sword. You used an evil sword for good, so I managed to get the sword of ages. I am you Leer. I am you."

Kagome, "And you just lost."

Judor, "What?"

The Tetsusaiga is a great weapon. It has the power of demons, but locked unless you have the power of a human. That made Inuyasha the only possible user of it. However, as a human, he only had that power when he protected a human. Before, he could never tap into that power of protecting a human, because, deep inside his ego, he never wanted to admit that.

He had changed.

He was protecting Kagome.

He was ready to fight a hundred battles.

He would fight anyone and everyone.

He would fight.

The Tetsusaiga would back him up all the way.

If only he could have Kagome at his side.

However, even at this crucial moment, she had to give it one more try:

"SIT BOY!!!"

Inuyasha wasn't forced to the ground. Instead he tripped on purpose.

And Kagome smiled.

End of story

Killetica Beast


	14. Rin

A/N: Thanks for reading!!! I am going to continue for a while, as I did leave a few openings and loose ends. Plus, I have four people with alerts on this story, so I will give them what they want!!!

Sit, Miroku

Chapter 14: Rin

Rin was flabbergasted. Yes, flabbergasted. She had no idea why Lucy had chosen her. She wasn't going to fight, but why did she get this huge rod. The rod Rin was holding was the only one of it's kind. It had a circle at one tip with spikes all around it. The other tip held a scythe-like blade to hold enemies at bay. It was a beautiful rod, but what for?

Rin could come up with no suitable reason for it. She began to mindlessly twirl the rod with her hands. She had no clue what was to happen next.

It came fast.

Very fast.

The only thing that Rin could do that was faster than that was to think and react. Having no idea what was going on and no idea who to trust, Rin was about to fall.

She had no idea the rod would hold her up.

From all directions light was flashing. Rin was reminded of how Sesshomaru moved that fast. Finally she yelled, "STOP!!!"

They did. And she could see them all. Their faces looked as if they weren't prepared for her to do that.

There were four people.

One she knew very well as Sesshomaru. He was holding two Blades: the Tenseiga and another one she did not recognize. He was in full attack phase, but he was in just the position to be able to protect her from any attack.

The second she knew kind of well. It was Kagome, wielding only her fists about her. By her position, Rin could tell that she wasn't against her.

The third was, well, that girl that hung out with Kagome. What did they call her? Sundo? No, wait, it was Sango. Sango was an ordinary human, but she was glowing somehow. What had given her super speed? She wasn't a miko, was she?

The fourth must have been the enemy. A girl of about fifteen was wielding six identical swords. Wait, SIX SWORDS? What had caused that? They were…floating swords.

Rin had to ask the enemy, "What is going on?"

The girl replied, "I want that rod?"

Sesshomaru took over at that point, "Why do you want?"

She replied with a bellow, "It BELONGED TO LUCY!!!"

Kagome, "You don't like Lucy?"

"Lucy is the one who gave me away. Lucy is the one who REPLACED ME. I HATE HER. And I want that ROD!!!!"

Rin was scared… She was about to run, but Rin wanted to be brave. She wanted to show Sesshomaru what she was capable of. "Who made this rod? What does it mean? What is your name?"

The girl was afraid to reply. Rin screamed, "Answer me!!!"

That voice was full of power, and the girl replied, "Leer made that rod for Lucy, as a sign of his love. But Leer is MINE. Yes, MINE. I want him…and if he won't have me, he won't have ANYBODY…"

Kagome, "Hormone problems…"

Sango, "Insane…"

Sesshomaru, "What kind of smell is that coming from you?"

Rin, "You haven't told me YOUR NAME!!!"

"Call me…Xaphrina…I will WIN."

And Xaphrina broke free of the spell Rin had absently without thought placed on her. Xaphrina attacked Rin.

And Rin unconsciously retaliated with magicks of her own. When even the world shook with one voice…

**Your defeat is your own, as is your destiny. So tell me, CAN YOU DEFEAT ME?**

End the chapter

A/N: Sorry, it is kind of short. But hey, I haven't posted in a while. So it may be a week for the next update, school is about to throw AP Exams at me.

And if you want to know whom I'm throwing into the story soon, check out my myspace. My username is LeerRosh. Just go to www. myspace. com / leerrosh

Killetica Beast


	15. Random?

Chapter ?????:

There was a guy and a girl and a chicken and a squirrel and a speecies of lambchops with greasy grimy gopher guts wih mutilated monkey meat and saturated birdy feet all wrapped up with the girl in all-purpose-porpoise-pus with cookie goo and eagle feet and cheese puffs with chocolate milk held between two slices of bread to make a sandwitch for Joe who ate it, died, got eaten by the suirrel who died, who got eaten by the chicken, ho go fried extra crispy and eaten by the boy who didn't ntice that he had basically eaten Joe so he wen a round and began to wonder why he scrathed hs armpits so much (which is because of the fact that he had eaten Joe indirectly) and he got attacked by dementors so he used his kamehameha to kill Ivan's pet dragon a.k.a. the Dark magician, so the boy and Joe got transformed into girls that were ver ugly so no one wanted to even look at them (btw, Joe had gotten thrown up out of the boy's stomach) except for this one guy who went by the name of Elvn and he eventually had to send his teddy bear who got attacked by Pikachu's "Spirit Gun" and he was a gosu division leader in "The Popcorn Clan" who decided to remove their military ranks and allow the girly Joe to spam them with his leadership skillz (notice the z) and he found this article on wikipedia:

"Randomness is an objective property. Nevertheless, what appears random to one observer may not appear random to another observer. Consider two observers of a sequence of bits, only one of whom has the cryptographic key needed to turn the sequence of bits into a readable message. The message is not random, but is for one of the observers unpredictable. One of the intriguing aspects of random processes is that it is hard to know whether the process is truly random. The observer can always suspect that there is some "key" that unlocks the message. This is one of the foundations of superstition and is also what is a driving motive, curiosity, for discovery in science and mathematics.

Under the cosmological hypothesis of determinism there is no randomness in the universe, only unpredictability.

Some mathematically defined sequences exhibit some of the same characteristics as random sequences, but because they are generated by a describable mechanism they are called pseudorandom.

Chaotic systems are unpredictable in practice due to their extreme dependence on initial conditions. Whether or not they are unpredictable in terms of computability theory is a subject of current research. At least in some disciplines of computability theory the notion of randomness turns out to be identified with computational unpredictability.

Randomness of a phenomenon is not itself 'random'. It can often be precisely characterized, usually in terms of probability or expected value. For instance quantum mechanics allows a very precise calculation of the half-lives of atoms even though the process of atomic decay is a random one. More simply, though we cannot predict the outcome of a single toss of a fair coin, we can characterize its general behavior by saying that if a large number of tosses are made, roughly half of them will show up "Heads". Ohm's law and the kinetic theory of gases are precise characterizations of macroscopic phenomena which are random on the microscopic level."

And he found much influence in that simple paragraph (its really TWO paragraphs) so he decided to set out on a journey to find the bronze triathlon popcorn hat of wood who had been his favorite frm of yoga on a street with chicken forisculatorinestlyonmeanormonstrounanimouslckadorkisakornchickenwthouselectricityeastpower, and he found hs true goal in life which was to fid the longest word without any repeated letters which is uncopywritable and God decided that everyone whohas ever met Joe will go to heaven because they have already spent their time in hell. ALLYOURBASEAREBELONGTOUS!!!!!

XD

Now back to Inuyasha: Feudal Combat!!!!

Rin uses her super kamehameha ability. Kagome uses her sacred arrow...fused with a kamehameha ability. Inuyasha used backlash wave...with a kamehameha. Miroku wouldve sucked in everything, but he couldn't, so he just used a kamehameha.

Kikyo couldn't use a kamehameha, so she died an evil death...she was kissing a hotdog into the hellhole when 7 kamehameha's hit her, and even Voldemort's avada kedavra couldnt save her because he died from a freaking expelliarmus. I mean come on, who dies from that.

Xaphrina was a loser that was very preppy and probably was still going to college hoping to marry sven different guys at the same time without any of them knowing the other 6. So she figured she could win feudal combat by hitting random buttons (trust me, you can, and easily too) an so she launched a super humungo kamehameha.

And all 9999999999 kamehameha's collided, thus creating a dragonball, which shippo ate cause he was hungry. He met Mary Poppins in humungo Pokemon world, and everyone knows Mary Poppins is possessed by sugar: YOU GO GIRL!!

Well, I would make fun of politics here, but due to the attack on my life (just kidding) I will instead make fun of chickens...

nevermind,thats getting old.

My turkey ate the attacks that possessed the dragonball because he was too busy cooking that extra huge peanut that is so mentioned in FEUDAL COMBAT!!

Kagomes arrows only work on th final attack, so she sat and ate her wieners that looked like octopi...(Myoga joined her) and Inuyasha almost died again cause he got a hole in his stomach...again. He threw Kagome at his enemy, and not only did she find the jewel, she was so angry that she killed the demon...as well as Inuyasha.

NOw what does Rin have to do with all of this???

NO FREAKING IDEA!!!

AND WHAT WAS THAT LOUD NOISE!!!

AHHHH!!! PEOPLE ARE YELLING AT ME!!!!!

Halo 2 sucks.

computers make the emos happy, so thats why politics are so involved with the voting machines. 

BECAUSE THEY ARE DIFFERENT!!!

The chinese guy made corn bomb and blew up the clouds and the ninjas were happy.

So, Rin was having trouble defeating this emo Xaphrina girl, cause everyone else blew themselves up with Kamehamehas.

So now that DBZ is gone, lets bring in NARUTO

SEXY-no-jutsu!!!!!

wait, whats the point of that? Nevermind...

Rin created 70,000 shadow doppelgangers and Xaphrina had trouble finding the real Rin. However, Xaphrina simply used her sword to fully strike all of them...

and found Rin behind her.

Rin used the rod that was given to her to strike.

It did smething unimaginable...well, ok, i wish...

A huge water wave followed the strike. I mean HUGE, like a hurricane strike headed at Xaphrina compressd very small-like into a huge blast. 

THE BATTLES NOT OVER YET

LET ME CATCH MY BREATH!!!

Rin did something.

Xaphrina did something.

One of them survived...

The other didn't.

Ok, story over XD.

Well, not entirely...

Cya next chapter!!!!

End the Chapter

A/N: Sorry for taking so long. Glad I am back are we? Sorry about the confusing story...its kind of a compilation of crap.

Yes.

Crap.

Funny crap.

Killetica Beast 


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